well hello!
what shall we explore together today?
what will rise to the top of our attention?
pausing … in open waiting… listening to the sparks
smiling … how wonderful … this quiet
when all is possible …
when no thought dominates the mind,
when the mind is quietly listening to itself,
smiling to itself … content…
to live in this pause and welcome whatever arises
maybe a sad memory … wishing to be seen,
wishing to be held in the heart
maybe a fiery, urgent self-righteous thought
wishing to be seen, wishing to be held in the heart tenderly
maybe a spark of doubt, maybe of fear, maybe of joy …
making themselves known,
all wishing to be seen by our heart lovingly
pausing … waiting … quietly
welcoming the next spark
peaceful in the presence of what is
well hello!
how was your week?
something usually comes to mind,
a memory makes itself known…
this friendly question can launch us
straight into rummaging in the so called past
let me apologize
let’s reboot and start fresh instead
what is alive in you right now?
what happens when this question is met?
do you feel yourself turning inward,
noticing sensations of body-mind?
now instead of focusing on memory and thought,
focus is drawn to present sensations
what happens in me when
paying attention to what is alive
is the awareness of how quickly sensations change
quicker than the thought:
“there is an itch on my shoulder”
the itch has altered
thought comes after sensation
words can’t convey the fullness of experience
when my mind sees this
it falls quiet
wishing to stay with what is
words disappear
stillness
peaceful in the presence of what is
nothing to cling to
doing nothing the sun rises
doing nothing the river flows
doing nothing thirst appears and is quenched
doing nothing cells die and are born
doing nothing another wave of thoughts roll by
doing nothing the heart loves what is
with nothing to cling to beauty abounds
grace willing
with mindfulness come certain insights overtime…
there is: wow, there is a whole inner world to explore!
and a sense of discovery and joy
then comes noticing how difficult it is for the mind to stay present…
how attention shifts quickly to thinking, becoming a thinker, rather than simply observing
what can follow next, is a time of mind trying to control thinking, trying to keep the mind still by the power of will …
and with the exertion of will, of striving to control thoughts comes a parade of emotions, frustration, pride - an endless coming and going
realizing that every experience flows and changes constantly
is a sweet spot for the mind to ponder and it takes time to acclimatize to impermanence and uncertainty
glimpses appear - of the space between thoughts - when the mind falls quiet and the presence of peace shines through the fog of thought in these moments
yet thought-driven striving continues, seeking to be better… trying to change self, other people, the world… and suffering continues
through luck or grace, a realization comes that thought creates suffering…
that it is not the world, nor other people that create suffering, but the mindset through which all experience is filtered
what a sweet realization, discovering that all suffering is based in the mind!
and the folly that follows can be that the mind then doubles down and tries really, really hard to understand and fix itself to end all unpleasant experiences, all suffering
quietly, alongside all this, there can be a tender noticing … how insights seem to appear “right on time”, with gentleness and care, a mysterious loving support
another point along the way is the dawning that I am not in control of which thought will arise next, of what emotion will come to visit, how big it will be, how long it will stay…
that is a game changer!
yet insight and realization does not mean that old mind patterns no longer have momentum, they still show up, they still play out … a living momentum that moves in its own way
another innocent folly:
noticing how the mind tries to hold on to the insights it has had, to make them permanent and the innocent folly and futility of that
there is flow, the impermanence of all experience,
and there is the ever present stillness that was first glimpsed between thoughts, - that shines through all experience, underlying and suffusing all experience.
the vast ocean of stillness, of being.
well, this is getting long..
more next time, grace willing…
beneath the whirlwinds
every day brings joys and challenges,
whirlwinds of sensory impressions, emotions and thoughts
in an endlessly grand and varied parade
yet all of these comings and goings
are known in awareness
the closer than close, intimate,
impersonal and infinite ever present Self
gratitude for knowing that beneath the whirlwinds
peace is ever-present
into stillness
what seems to be causing a lot of our suffering
is the habit of identifying with thoughts and mind-stories
asking: what is alive in you right now?
helps bring us back to being present
notice what happens when asking:
what sensations are alive in the body now?
simply listening to what arises
asking: what feelings can be felt in the body?
noticing what bubbles up
witnessing, wordlessly, what is
asking: are thoughts arising? any stories being told by the inner narrator?
listening, unattached, to the flow
purely witnessing what is
shifting from commentary to witnessing
from noise to stillness
thankful
is there anything
anything at all
that it would be impossible
to be thankful for?
is gratitude not
like beauty
in the eye of the beholder?
does this moment,
that contains the whole world,
not shine in beauty
when the mind falls quiet
and the heart opens
in thankfulness
freedom - a jungle story
each morning while camping in a Jamaican jungle
we would make a cooking fire
now we were camped near an isolated path
only a handful of men would walk by during the day
and one by one, they would stop by for a visit
after exchanging friendly greetings with our first guest
we would be informed that our fire wasn’t build right
and quickly his helpful hands would rearrange it
a little while later a second man would visit
and again after pleasantries were exchanged
our fire would be found wanting
and would helpfully be rearranged
this would repeat morning after morning
helpful men visiting, rearranging the fire,
each certain their way was better
than what they found
who knows why it happened?
freedom is not to be bound by the mind’s whims
maybe it was a generous gift of jungle knowledge
given by those who had little else to give
maybe it was an excuse to visit longer
to share in each others company and stories
maybe it was a sign of dominance
maybe it was a well-orchestrated joke
played on the campers
maybe, maybe, maybe …
is living not wondrous?
is living not wondrous?
perfect
giving
playful
ever fresh
awareness
infinitely
reflecting
itself
in the world
in you
in itself
wider than the sky
what’s at the door
making itself known
banging loudly or shyly
asking to be seen
wishing to be welcomed
so many guests
a constant coming and going
maybe you don’t feel hospitable
or wish to screen the visitors
thinking this one is better than that one
the door of the mind can be narrow
the door of the heart, harder to remember,
is wider than the sky
happily ever after
when observing
the beliefs of our mind
curious features emerge
thoughts and words:
“i believe in ….” or “i believe that …”
are often uttered without much reflection
notice how the mind has an enormous capacity for believing
and where the line between belief and truth
can become indistinguishable
the belief of right, the belief of wrong,
the belief of possible and impossible
belief becomes a lens our experiences are perceived through
now let’s jump to a belief that can come as a surprise
when seeking on the spiritual path
there can be a subtle belief
that expects that there will be
a transcendent experience
one big event
the “spiritual goal line”
that when crossed
bliss will follow ever afterwards
this “happily ever after” belief
can cause much mind-inflicted restlessness
keeping peace just out of reach
has the mind unwittingly, innocently adopted this belief?
flowing with the river
sitting comfortably
gently breathing in, gently breathing out
asking: what is alive in me right now?
shifting attention to the body
becoming aware of sensations
listening quietly, patiently
simply noticing what arises
repeating the question:
what is alive in me right now?
listening deeply, neutrally
to the sensations and feelings that arise
to the aliveness of this moment
a far reaching ponder
has this happened to you…
you find yourself in a situation
were someone is venting their grievances about you
listening to their words your mind gets flustered, defensive, hurt
your inner narration goes something like:
this is not true, they are wrong, they are egotistical, they are behaving badly, their views are petty, stupid…
when, suddenly, you become aware of your judgements of the other person
an unexpected, bright flash of insight
a perception that can greatly alter the flow of conversation
now here is the ponder:
it is not about having better conflict resolution skills
it is not about fixing our mind or behavior
it is simply this:
were you in control of the arrival of this insight?
did you cause it, or will it to be?
or did it just arrive,
by luck, by grace?
do you have agency over it?
could you have controlled its timing?
do you have agency over the arrival of the judgements in your mind?
a far reaching ponder,
which may be useful before the mind’s usual route
into self improvement, or fixing itself
laughter
from belly to eyes it plays
rippling through the body
a wave washing the mind clean
leaving it spent, free of self-seriousness
a marvelous quality
arising by itself
a fractal celebrating living
hide and seek
something happened
that hid the truth
of what you truly are
somehow you got separated
causing you to feel alone
and apart
disconnected
from others, from nature,
from the whole river of aliveness
it is not your fault
it is a misperception
that can be seen through
ask: what maintains
this illusion of a separate identity?
ask: how could i ever be separate
from the "great everything”?
something happened
that hid the truth
of what you truly are
the blue sky
remember as a child
laying in the grass
looking up into the blue sky
nothing to do, nowhere to go
not bored,
just being
the absence of an agenda,
an aim,
yet alert and present
how different the world appears
when relaxed
body, mind, even
attention at ease
just being,
just seeing,
just walking, sitting, listening, speaking …
how do you view the world?
how do you view the world?
as a mystery?
as a battlefield?
as a pleasure garden?
as something needing to be improved upon?
as a dream?
as a world peopled by actors,
playing their parts
having forgotten who, what and where they are
as a world so seemingly real
yet appearing to no-one
as a world of experience playing
in the field of awareness
as limitless peace
lucky to be
the world with its 10,000 forms
is an intoxicating, bewildering experience
the inner world with its 10,000 forms
is an intoxicating, bewildering experience
before agreeing or disagreeing
there is witnessing
neutral, timeless, boundless
wordless witnessing
impulses arrive
inviting us to pause
moving from doing
to beholding
rediscovering stillness
how lucky to be invited
how lucky to be
out of the blue help arrives
when rushing and trying to improve
when habit momentum is strong
out of the blue
help seems to arrive
whispering: you are not
what you think you are
then the mind remembers
its many misperceptions
smiling and with ease
it muses on the follies
of its long years of seeking
until realizing
that what was never lost
can never be found
doing nothing
“sitting quietly, doing nothing
spring arrives
and the grass grows by itself”
quietly, doing nothing
the heart beats
and the body moves by itself
quietly, doing nothing
desires arise
and the body responds by itself
doing nothing
thought comes
and dreams a world by itself
doing nothing
actions arise
by themselves, sans an actor