thankful

is there anything

anything at all

that it would be impossible

to be thankful for?



is gratitude not

like beauty

in the eye of the beholder?



does this moment,

that contains the whole world,

not shine in beauty

when the mind falls quiet

and the heart opens

in thankfulness

freedom - a jungle story

each morning while camping in a Jamaican jungle
we would make a cooking fire

now we were camped near an isolated path
only a handful of men would walk by during the day
and one by one, they would stop by for a visit

after exchanging friendly greetings with our first guest
we would be informed that our fire wasn’t build right
and quickly his helpful hands would rearrange it

a little while later a second man would visit
and again after pleasantries were exchanged
our fire would be found wanting
and would helpfully be rearranged

this would repeat morning after morning
helpful men visiting, rearranging the fire,
each certain their way was better
than what they found

who knows why it happened?
freedom is not to be bound by the mind’s whims 

maybe it was a generous gift of jungle knowledge
given by those who had little else to give

maybe it was an excuse to visit longer
to share in each others company and stories

maybe it was a sign of dominance

maybe it was a well-orchestrated joke
played on the campers

maybe, maybe, maybe …

wider than the sky

what’s at the door

making itself known

banging loudly or shyly

asking to be seen

wishing to be welcomed


so many guests

a constant coming and going


maybe you don’t feel hospitable

or wish to screen the visitors

thinking this one is better than that one


the door of the mind can be narrow

the door of the heart, harder to remember,

is wider than the sky

happily ever after

when observing
the beliefs of our mind
curious features emerge

thoughts and words:
“i believe in ….” or “i believe that …”
are often uttered without much reflection

notice how the mind has an enormous capacity for believing

and where the line between belief and truth
can become indistinguishable

the belief of right, the belief of wrong,
the belief of possible and impossible

belief becomes a lens our experiences are perceived through

now let’s jump to a belief that can come as a surprise

when seeking on the spiritual path
there can be a subtle belief
that expects that there will be

a transcendent experience
one big event
the “spiritual goal line”

that when crossed
bliss will follow ever afterwards

this “happily ever after” belief
can cause much mind-inflicted restlessness
keeping peace just out of reach

has the mind unwittingly, innocently adopted this belief?

flowing with the river

sitting comfortably

gently breathing in, gently breathing out

asking: what is alive in me right now?

shifting attention to the body

becoming aware of sensations

listening quietly, patiently

simply noticing what arises


repeating the question:

what is alive in me right now?

listening deeply, neutrally

to the sensations and feelings that arise

to the aliveness of this moment

a far reaching ponder

has this happened to you…
you find yourself in a situation
were someone is venting their grievances about you

listening to their words your mind gets flustered, defensive, hurt

your inner narration goes something like:
this is not true, they are wrong, they are egotistical, they are behaving badly, their views are petty, stupid…

when, suddenly, you become aware of your judgements of the other person

an unexpected, bright flash of insight
a perception that can greatly alter the flow of conversation

now here is the ponder:

it is not about having better conflict resolution skills
it is not about fixing our mind or behavior

it is simply this:
were you in control of the arrival of this insight?

did you cause it, or will it to be?
or did it just arrive,
by luck, by grace?

do you have agency over it?
could you have controlled its timing?

do you have agency over the arrival of the judgements in your mind?

a far reaching ponder,
which may be useful before the mind’s usual route
into self improvement, or fixing itself

hide and seek

something happened
that hid the truth
of what you truly are

somehow you got separated
causing you to feel alone
and apart

disconnected
from others, from nature,
from the whole river of aliveness

it is not your fault
it is a misperception
that can be seen through

ask: what maintains
this illusion of a separate identity?

ask: how could i ever be separate
from the "great everything”?

something happened
that hid the truth
of what you truly are

the blue sky

remember as a child
laying in the grass
looking up into the blue sky

nothing to do, nowhere to go
not bored,
just being

the absence of an agenda,
an aim,
yet alert and present

how different the world appears
when relaxed

body, mind, even
attention at ease

just being,
just seeing,
just walking, sitting, listening, speaking …

how do you view the world?

how do you view the world?

as a mystery?

as a battlefield?

as a pleasure garden?

as something needing to be improved upon?

as a dream?


as a world peopled by actors,
playing their parts
having forgotten who, what and where they are

as a world so seemingly real
yet appearing to no-one

as a world of experience playing
in the field of awareness

as limitless peace

lucky to be

the world with its 10,000 forms
is an intoxicating, bewildering experience

the inner world with its 10,000 forms
is an intoxicating, bewildering experience

before agreeing or disagreeing
there is witnessing

neutral, timeless, boundless
wordless witnessing

impulses arrive
inviting us to pause

moving from doing
to beholding
rediscovering stillness

how lucky to be invited
how lucky to be

doing nothing

“sitting quietly, doing nothing
spring arrives
and the grass grows by itself”

quietly, doing nothing
the heart beats
and the body moves by itself

quietly, doing nothing
desires arise
and the body responds by itself

doing nothing
thought comes
and dreams a world by itself

doing nothing
actions arise
by themselves, sans an actor

the peace the mind so longs to find

opening our heart
looking, listening deeply

is there a need for this moment
to be any different than what it is?

is it good enough?

or is there an underlying restlessness
that says: i can’t be at peace until…

… until there are no more wars, no more suffering,
until i am different, until things make sense…

our minds have their
particular conditions

that keep them agitated and
continually seeking for more, different or better

does this very seeking obscure
the peace of this moment?

the peace the mind so longs to find

in this moment, here, now,
there is peace and tenderness
it is not personal,
it is endlessly intimate

discoveries

have you ever sung along to a song
only to discover that for years
you have gotten some of the words wrong?

a misunderstanding, a misperception
revealed itself

what happens next?

how does the mind’s-ear hear
the song after that discovery?

does the mind adopt
the new version of the song,

or does it continue to sing
its old version?

discovery is only the beginning

what happens next
unveils even more

now, maybe for decades
you believed the inner narrator
was your own true voice

then a discovery appeared
that the inner narrator
is only thoughts happening
all by themselves

well now,
that’s a big ass reveal

this discovery is the beginning
to a fascinating unveiling

stay tuned
it’s unfolding
right now

mostly harmless?

recently i was asked the question:
what are your goals for this year?

a simple question,
it sounds harmless

maybe the answer is:
i want to be happier, more secure,
better myself, help humanity,
have better relationships, be worthy of love,
be more spiritual, enlightenment…

yet what is hidden in the goals?

is what is now
not good enough?

believing that reaching the goal
will bring the happily ever after ending

if so the striving begins…
to cross the gap
between what is and what should be

after having played the game
of goal setting countless of times
it becomes clear
that lasting peace and happiness
is not found through more striving

yet, noticing this thinking process,
the virus of “not good enough”
that leads to endless seeking
is a beautiful stepping stone

well then, what’s the answer
to the question?

belonging

what does it feel like to belong?

it feels like comfortable clothes
you forgot you were wearing
it is unselfconscious
no striving, no difference


when breathing do you belong to the air?
does the air belong to you?

there’s only breathing
no air, no you, just breathing

no self-consciousness
about accepting the gift of air
nor worry that the exhale will not be welcomed back

when walking do you belong to the earth?

the earth beneath your feet supports you without question
it never hints that you should change

and do the feet not love the earth
the solid ground?

touching, being touched
there is no conflict
no self-consciousness
no question of superiority
no fear of not good enough
there is acceptance all the way around


so the feet have found belonging
and the lungs have found belonging
and the whole body has found
belonging in the vast living web

the body has never not belonged
was and never is separate

it thrives and plays its part
whether young or old, healthy or sick, it belongs


now, what about shame?
what about guilt?
what about rage?

they too belong
like all the colors and all the sounds
these curious emotions
are part of the living web

or would you rather cut them out?
separate them from the whole?

is insight vast enough to say:
“shame, guilt, rage - you i shall cast out.
you do not belong.”

consider how great your mind is at playing chess
then multiply the moves by infinity…

can the mind think through all the permutations
of what would happen if it begins excluding this or that
from the harmonious workings of the living web

tough question isn’t it?

but mind doesn’t like facing infinity for long,
doesn’t like feeling out of control
at the edge of uncertainty…

so it keeps practicing:
separating life into good and bad,
into “this i accept and that will have to change
before it can get my approval”

it keeps practicing all the conditions it has
for others to belong, for life to be as it is

oh foolish, self-important, self-righteous mind

don’t worry about how others play the game
how they cut and separate
you have a much more immediate field of dreams…

like it or not
you belong, as you are
they belong, as they are

nothing and no one is separate
it’s all quite perfect as it is

bringing ease to body and mind

a little check in…
are you comfortable?

how is the body
feeling right now?

would it welcome
more ease?

if so, allow the body to find
a more comfortable posture

maybe a small shift,
a deep breath, a little stretch…

even a smile can help
bring relaxation to the body

and the mind
is it comfortable?

would it welcome
some loving attention?

maybe a ray of gratitude?

what would help the mind
feel more spacious and at ease?

maybe it begins by asking:
mind would you enjoy a pause?
body would you like to relax?

bringing a little ease
to body and mind

stay tuned

with weekly free musings

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