at first

here we are, again
entering into contemplation

through this moment’s
gate of perception

in contemplation the shy,
the hidden come into view

much will be encountered
not all, at first, seems wonderful

yet even fear becomes a gift
and facing pride brings insight

observing what comes
without adding commentary

receiving all equally,
how impossible this sounds at first

wondrous then,
that quite naturally

it seems to move that way
all by itself

bursts of joy

beachcombing through the day
ambling, with senses keen

noticing a curious stone
a shiny shell fragment

in this moment
a simple burst of joy

making contact,
maybe carrying

then letting go, into
a new uncluttered freedom

hands and mind
open once again

this coming and going
of small joys

brings ease
to cloud-mind

relaxing, softening
healing through joy

can i be certain

questions asked
in the hour of dawn

why do i get so upset?

what in me feels wronged and gets hurt?

can i observe my inner resistance?

and also sense curiosity and kindness
arriving to aid this inquiry?

now a young voice asks:
where do my thoughts come from?

why is thought
so vexing?

am i the thinker?
am i thinking?

how can i be certain of anything
if i can not answer:
what am i?

little freakouts

i try to pause
to breathe and relax

ahhh  . . .
nope, argh!

here’s where my intentions
meet the momentum of
my habitual doing-ness

my mind left to itself
freaks out a little

it encounters boredom
and that’s not easy

so the mind begins to think
story upon story

it gets enthralled
in rehashing history

or plans the next meal
or finds itself in amazing daydreams
or simply nods off for a while

or it invents an urgent task
and finds itself half way across
the room before noticing
it’s no longer pausing

yup, it’s not easy

yet there is a longing
that calls me back to myself
that knows

and i try pausing again
and it becomes easier
and funnier

still marvelous

still marvelous
observing the breath

the in and out
rhythm of life

lungs sucking
in air

a momentary
fullness

then the tide turns
and in becomes out

a momentary
stillness

until the next breath
rushes in, unique and vital

each breath connecting
into the ocean of air

into the chorus
of all beings breathing

into the first breath,
last breath continuum

tenderness of the heart

dear one
why do you read
this musing?

is it not
to connect
with yourself?

to meet yourself
in tenderness

to sense the quiet
that dwells within

witness your many actions
that seek peace, kindness
and clarity

they are your
countless devotions

your love letters
to life itself

to the great mystery
that surrounds and suffuses you
that is you

look closely
look kindly

see the faithful seeking
the tenderness of your own heart

slow melt

during a winter’s ice-storm
a woman appeared outside
clad in shorts and flip-flops

it took but one glance
for judging-mind
to think of her as daft

judging-mind was certain,
even superior
in how it viewed her

this moment would
have gone unnoticed
if not for a simple question

could i now connect with her
unbiased, warmheartedly?

noticing how difficult it would be
for us to meet unencumbered

the seemingly small thought
of judging-mind
showed itself in a new light

it had created such distance
from the heart and between us

an unexpected insight,
a slow melt back towards
tenderness and gratitude 

the last one

what if
today’s drama
is the last one
you’d ever have?

the last frustration, envy, anger
the last grief, sorrow, loneliness

what if they’d never come
to visit again?

would they be missed?

would they be welcomed
more warmly today?

these temporary
noble teachers

whirling about,
as they pass through

turning us back
towards light