has this happened to you…
you find yourself in a situation
were someone is venting their grievances about you

listening to their words your mind gets flustered, defensive, hurt

your inner narration goes something like:
this is not true, they are wrong, they are egotistical, they are behaving badly, their views are petty, stupid…

when, suddenly, you become aware of your judgements of the other person

an unexpected, bright flash of insight
a perception that can greatly alter the flow of conversation

now here is the ponder:

it is not about having better conflict resolution skills
it is not about fixing our mind or behavior

it is simply this:
were you in control of the arrival of this insight?

did you cause it, or will it to be?
or did it just arrive,
by luck, by grace?

do you have agency over it?
could you have controlled its timing?

do you have agency over the arrival of the judgements in your mind?

a far reaching ponder,
which may be useful before the mind’s usual route
into self improvement, or fixing itself